Watching the sun go down

I just realised I haven’t written anything on the English page since April 24. It’s now July 13 and my life has improved quite a lot since that day I wrote about being high in the air above the North-Atlantic. Mainly, I’m on my summer holiday. I’ve missed having time to just simply go and do things for myself, for such a long time. It almost felt like I didn’t know how to anymore.
I just celebrated my birthday a couple of days ago and I’ve been met with so much love and support from friends and family all over.

These last months have undeniably been difficult. My life really got turned upside down by the previous relationship ending but the more time passes the more I’m sure I did the right thing. It was so incredibly difficult but I hope it results in two healthier adult individuals who can better take care of themselves and the people they chose to be around them. I deeply care for the person in question, I hope they always know that.

I also lost my dog. That was such a devastation. I was really devoted to taking care of him, feeding him, staying awake for him, giving him medicine. My sleep pattern got messed up having to wake up in the middle of the night to feed him, I don’t think I’ve been able to recover since. It has just recently started to become better.

I think during that period, after the break up, while the dog was sick, was the most difficult time of all. I should’ve - in hindsight - taken this time off as sick leave or something. Just before I entered this summer holiday I was barely coping with work, it was starting to annoy me (I normally love it) and I was simply running on my spare batteries. Which, themselves were dangerously low.

Now I sit here at my kitchen table (which I recovered from the parking lot for free, in perfect condition) in my (relatively) newly painted kitchen. From where I’m sitting I can see out the windows facing the west - Faxaflói bay. A beautiful sunset now reminds me of a person I’ve recently gotten to know better. An old friend, I guess we could say - at least an acquaintance. We’ve shared so many interesting conversations these past 6 months and I probably spoke disproportionately about the summer, so sunsets included, that now a beautiful sunset has started to remind me of this person.

I don’t know what I feel about that - it’s a warm feeling, it’s a loving feeling. It’s a feeling that reminds me that there are so many people out there that care about me - and this is something that matters. No matter how alone it feels dealing with so many things on my own, I don’t think I’m ever completely solo. How wonderfully lucky am I.

Lucky and full of love and sunshine. The summer has given me days I’ve longed for so long and filled my heart with love I never knew I had. I think I might even be in love with summer.