Soon my time in Paris will be over for this round. Autumn and the colours on the trees are quite pretty and it’s getting a bit chilly. My apartment is not heated all the time, like most places here, because it’s expensive, so it’s a bit of a struggle against the constant chills.

It feels strange that I’m leaving Paris soon. I already feel very much in tune with the city. Subconsciously, I’ve already started looking forward to spring but I won’t be here when it’s spring again.

I will be in Iceland at that point.

Like I said, the autumn colours are really nice and I wish I had more time to explore, be outside and be a tourist. There’s a lot to do at work now and because I’m somewhat of a masochist, I’m also studying on the side - taking up my free time. But that’s quite alright, I still have a month and a half left (possibly only a month left of work).

One thing I think strikes me the most is that I’m, for the first time in a long time, actually leaving a job that I don’t feel like leaving. The last few times when resigned from jobs, it was because I was feeling that my time there was up or I couldn’t go any further. It’s a bit hard leaving a job, which you have to leave, specially here, I’ve gotten so motivated for it and it feels so normal to just continue onwards.

I don’t really feel like using the world blame, but in a sense I can’t blame anybody but myself because I took this decision, I think it’s the right time for me to make this move; leave Paris and go home to write my thesis.

I guess I can always come back?

Of course I’m very much looking forward to going home to Iceland. I think about it every day. The enjoyment of being in my own home, with Svavar and the dogs, but when I think about it, it will also be a bit strange to not be in this big city environment anymore.

Iceland is so small. I think there are more people passing through the Paris Metro per day, than live in Iceland.

And I know it feels beautiful how close we all are on that small island. It’s nice when your in there - but if you’re if you’re “on the outside” - out on the margins, it must feel very lonely in Iceland. I feel we should all be doing a lot more to be more inclusive.

I think a well run society isn’t a society excludes people to living on its margins 

I went home from work today because I have the flu. I don’t even know what to call it because I feel that the flu is like whatever it was that I got in February (I think) when I was home for a few days. That was horrible. I haven’t been sick a lot since I got here but right now I definitely have fever and and a headache and sore throat… so I guess maybe it’s the flu.

It’s just not as bad as the one that I had before. That was literally the worst thing. I probably wrote about it before. Being at home in bed for three or four days, alone in Paris, with no one to go out and buy anything for you. At least food I could get delivered which was a treat, but I was I was feeling quite miserable in that small apartment I used to live in.

Now I’m not feeling too bad and I have a more proper place to live in - it does make a difference. I think that’s something people often forget. We don’t just run on simply thriving, you know? We can’t put ourselves in the shoes of someone that is in a bad situation either health-wise, work-wise or life-wise, if we have a safety net to fall back onto versus them not having anything.

It reminds me of people who were comparing the situation of a pregnant refugee woman who was recently deported from Iceland (on the grounds of being from “a safe country”) to the situation of Icelandic women who are pregnant, that need to get on flights.

This particular woman should not have been put on a flight at that time, being 35 weeks and five days pregnant. People were comparing this on the grounds that sometimes women have to fly to Reykjavik if they don’t have access to a maternity ward in their region, or just that some pregnant women have travelled. But would you say that they were under the same duress as somebody who is waiting to deported, against their will, on top of everything else? Forced to board a flight, knowing it can have adverse effects on health?

It can not be solely the physical surrounding of situations that are kept in mind, the mental aspect has to be taken into consideration. Otherwise it is not comparable.

Let's say you are on a bus that breaks down. You know it will be some time before it gets fixed. If you’re feeling good, physically and mentally, that situation is probably not going to bother you as much as it would were you feeling stressed, ill or pressured.

We can always attempt to put ourselves in another persons shoes, but most of the time we can not understand fully. Trying to justify another persons suffering because you have had a similar situation (or you know someone who did) and it “wasn’t that bad”, is not fair when you are only comparing the basics of the situation in itself.